A few years ago, a humorous take on Hollywood terms made its way to my inbox. I liked it so much, I included it in the Appendix (page 247) of my book Hollywood Game Plan: How to Land a Job in Film, TV or Digital Entertainment. At the time, I had no idea who originated this list, so couldn’t give credit where credit was due. Thankfully, I now know the mind behind the mystery...
Canadian writer producer Josh Miller.
Here’s a portion of Josh’s Hollywood Dictionary:
To schmooze : befriend scum
To pitch : grovel shamelessly
To brainstorm : feign preparedness
To research : procrastinate indefinitely
To network : spread misinformation
To collaborate : argue incessantly
To freelance : collect unemployment
agent : frustrated lawyer
lawyer : frustrated producer
producer : frustrated writer
writer : frustrated director
director : frustrated actor
actor : frustrated human
high-concept : low brow
production values (1) : gore
production values (2) : explosions
production values (3) : major female star gets naked
entry level : pays nothing
network-approved : has made them money
highly qualified : knows the producer
Written by Josh Miller, for the Television and Film Institute for Screenwriters, Canada.
Director of WGA's Showrunner Training Program, creator & Director of the CBS Diversity Writers Mentoring Program, international speaker and a leading expert on entertainment career strategies, Carole Kirschner teaches creative professionals how to navigate the often mystifying landscape of show business. Her book, Hollywood Game Plan: How to Land a Job in Film, TV and Digital Entertainment is a primer on how to break in and move up in the entertainment industry. Through her popular workshops, Carole teaches writers, producers, directors and executives the real world strategies that will help them not just succeed, but thrive.